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"Oh rain,
fall down,
fall down on me.
soak me in your tears and fall down on me.."


I dont know why im so commited to the rain nowadays.
whenever it rains,my heart would be filled with joy
but deep inside ,its etched with sadness and pain
that the rain brings.



"Rain are tears from the sky ,
and as we cry , our tears will
evaporate to form the rain.


Rain is actually our tears that floats
up to heaven,the skies and fall back
down to Earth again to form the rain.


So,
that is rain;it is our tears."


Ever wondered who is the Moon's lover?
Ive wondered too.
She's always lonely up there.


One day,i wanna fly up to the moon in a rocket and keep her company.
Yeah, thats what ill do.
So,if you see me up in th moon ill wave at you,and i hope that you'll wave back at me too.










"Orange,apple,banana ,strawberry."

Labels: cover me up

"The skies cried again today,
as i danced in the rain.


I looked at my reflection
in the water,
jumping over puddles and
taking in the rain,
closing my eyes and soaking it all in,
thinking about the times
we shared.


But sometimes,
i wonder why i thought
about it at all."


I still hate you.
And,i'll hate you forever.

Of that,i am proud and certain of.

I was trapped in a jar but there are cracks slowly
forming up,giving me some air to breathe and
the ability to come out of my imprisonment.

To breathe in fresh air again and
to see the blue sky,
to feel the green grass and
to smell the flowers.


"Is this my life?", im wondering.
It happened so fast ,how do i turn
these things around?"


Sometimes,
i wonder whether this is the life i chose.

Sometimes i wish,that all the pain and hurt that
i've experienced in life could be deleted easily
like a pencil mark on paper,
erased by an eraser
or a pen error,
erased with correction liquid.



"The one weakness i hate about girls
is that they easily fall in love."


I am falling ,again.
To whom,i dont know.
And with whom,I dont have a clue.

"Wild horses,i wanna be like you.
Wish i could recklessly love,like im longing to.
I wanna run with the wild horses,
run with the wild horses."

Labels: run

"The skies were crying so much today.
I guess there were like billions of souls
in the world feeling down,
and not only me."



I didnt see you again today.
Oh well,youre dead.




Who cares anyway?




You gave me heartache.
So flee,you little fly.
Shoo,go away.
I dont want to see your face.
And,i dont even want to hear your name being mentioned.



I'll just call you 'little fly' from now onwards.




"Life was such a bliss,
then i saw you,
and it turned into a wreck."




I hate it when you tap your card on the ez link machine
and the thing goes 'TEET-TEET-TEET' just
because your card ran out of value.
You would have millions of eyes staring at you like you just did a crime,
your face would turn beet red
and thats what we call,
SELF HUMILIATION.




Seriously,the people in the bus would just stare at you
like nobody's business when that machine goes 'TEET-TEET-TEET'.
I hate it when people stare at me in such a humiliating way.



I mean,
havent your cards ran out of value before too?


"Life is like a roller coaster ride,
its crazy."


Sometimes i would laugh for such a long time
at just a simple thing.
Even just twirling and running to pinch a
person's cheek would make me laugh for hours.


And,sometimes i would be angry for such a long time.
But it takes only one stupid funny thing to happen,
to make me rolling on the floor laughing again.


Well,i think at the end of this post,
you would find that im actually an insane mad woman who needs to go to IMH right now.



Anybody care to send me?
I'll pay you 20 cents if you care to send me there to and fro to IMH.


Well, at least its 20 cents rather than 10 cents right?


"Just at the very thought of the littlest
funny moments would make me laugh
away for hours.


Just at the very thought of you
would keep me smiling for hours.


Just at the very sight of you
would keep me blushing for hours.









And,thats what i like about life."

Labels: HAHAHAHA

"Today was a fairytale,
I wore a dress.
You wore a dark grey t-shirt.
Today was a fairytale."


I didnt really see your face today.
Did you die?


I guess you did.
Oh,its good then if youre dead already.
At least i wont have to see you everyday
and ill only pray for you miles away when youre in your grave.




You were always there in the shadows and you
will forever be just a part of a shadow in my life
because shadows dont need to be acknowledged
and neither do i want to acknowledge you,anyway.


Just go to the edge of a cliff and jump down,okays?
You'll be proud to see me smiling when youre dead.
Ill just smile for you when youre dead,
nothing more,nothing less.


I dont even care if youre with another girl,she can have you.
I dont mind giving you to her.
If she only wants you.

Do you think she wants you?

No.
I dont think so.

And i dont think you'll
have a wife when you grow up.
Aww, thats sad.
Go and rot off.
I dont want you anymore.


Goodbye.

"Time slows down,whenever you're around."

You cannot have high hopes on anybody,not even yourself.
Because it will result to you falling,
in the deep hole,
like Alice in Wonderland.


Just care to look,before you jump.



"Sometimes,
in life you have to accept facts.
There will be some times when you
just cannot accept it,and you run off,
crying your heart out.

But after the thunderstorm is over,
the sun will always be back again.
And thats just the same thing.

After you cry,you just feel yourself
getting more strength and being a new you,
kicking the old you away,leaving its weaknesses
and getting more matured day by day after
every tear and you just get up on your feet again
and be strong,once more
to live life to its fullest."


Its time to live life again.


"Atonement.
As i atone to the mistakes in my life,
i atone to my greatest fears and fix
back the hole ive made in it."




Keep in your mind that there is always
more than one chance in life.


Atonement,
is not just a big word and
its not just some romance,warfare,sad love movie or novel.


Atonement here,
applies to life.



Atonement means to correct your mistakes
that you have made in the past.




Therefore,
if you have read the novel or watched the movie,
you would understand now,
why is the title called Atonement.






Once youve made mistakes in your life,
theres no way to look back.
All you can do is just to keep you head high,
look forward and dont repeat those mistakes again.





Never repeat it ever again.






And try your best to atone it.
















"Today was a fairytale,
you were the prince,i
used to be a damsel in distress.
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way youve kissed me.
I fell in love when i saw you standing there,
today was a fairytale."

Labels: ATONEMENT, lalaland

"Cause im not your princess.
This aint a fairytale.
Im gonna find someone somewhere,
who might actually treat me well."


I dont love you anymore.
I threw you out of my heart.
Yet,sometimes,
those sad love songs remind me of you.


And thats what that hurts most.
I can feel the pain piercing through my
chest when i listen to those sad love songs.

I dont look at your teddy bear anymore,
its rubbish.
Its trash.

Whoever wants it,take it.
Im selling it for 10 cents.


Worthless teddy bear.


But,im still asking myself ,
how did our love went this way?

What happen?

Is it because of that girl?
Is it because of me?

And,why am i asking myself this?
Because,you dont deserve me.

Youre worthless,hopeless and useless,
according to my dictionary.

And that's that.







"I like the way you run your
hands through your hair.

I like it,how you sound so tired
and look so blur in the early morning.

I like it how you never give up in learning
how to play the song on the piano that
you want me to teach even though how
difficult it is for you to manage.

I like the way you have deep
interest in piano and music.

I like that."




I find myself blushing when i look at you.
Youre cute,you know?



I laugh to myself whenever you sound so blur.
Typically you.



You told me you cried when you watched Titanic.
I didnt know guys cried.

You made me smile,even in my darkest hours.



I like it when you get protective and when
you say that you want to bash him up.


Yeah,just bash him up.
Hes a piece of trash.



I like it the most,when you look at me and smile.


I love disturbing you,
cause for sure,
that smile on your face will appear and
light up the whole world.







"I find myself blushing when i see you.
I love it when you run your hands through your hair.
Its very nice,
the way you do it.
I smile at the very thought of you."

Labels: falling again

"These fairytales are not to be forgotten and will never be forgotten."

I feel like im in a fairytale right now.
Well,at least i could wish that im in one.

I wish the reality was just dreams and
the dreams were a reality.
I wish i could run and find my fairytale,
grab it and hold on to it.

As i walk through the woods,im searching for a sign of love.
A sign of love that would drive me crazy.
A sign of love that would make me blush.
A sign of my Prince.

Im looking for my Prince,searching in agony,
but hes nowhere to be found.



Where are you?
Where is my Prince?




"I look back to see my miserable past.
I took it in my hands and threw it in the
oceans where it would sink,
one by one,
my mind forgetting it,
slowly."




As i walked through the woods,i stumbled upon a magical well.
I looked at my reflection,and i asked myself


"Who is my prince?Who is my true love?"



I dropped a coin into the well,
wishing for my true love,my Prince
to appear right in front of my eyes.

Nothing happened.
I guess the magical well
wasnt magic after all.

But then,
i saw him.

I saw my Prince.

He was waiting for me all this while,
with his white horse.
I ran to him.
He kissed me,hugged me and we fled to his castle,
where we lived happily ever after.


This will be my happy ending
when ive found my true love.




If only it could happen.





"Today was a fairytale,
you were the prince.
I used to be a damsel in distress.
You took me by the hand and
you picked me up at six.
Today was a fairytale."

Labels: Today was a fairytale.

"The wind blows past,
carrying all my nightmares
and fears away,
leaving me in peace.

I want to run from the past,and create a new life.
I want to.

Wind,
carry me along in your arms.
Let me feel your breeze as you pass by.
Fill me in with your soul as you brush me.
And most importantly,
let me feel your love."


How do you feel when youre near bliss and sadness,
feeling pain and happiness at the same time?

How would you feel if you hide all your fears
and pain inside and smiled on the outside instead?

So can you move aside,
and get lost out of my life?

Youre ugly inside out,and i dont need you.
I shouldnt have loved you in the first place.

Why did i fall in love with you?
Why?

Why was i such a fool to fall for you?
What did i see in you?


And,

why am i asking myself these when its already over now?


"You made me smile.
you made me frown.

You made me laugh,
you made me cry.

But you made me hurt,
when you walked out of my life.

It stabbed me like a knife.
And now,im gonna stab you back,mercilessly.

I dont love you anymore.

Get out of my head,
i dont need you.

I dont want you.

I dont miss you."


One day,im gonna find my fairytale.
My true fairytale.
Where the prince would be someone
i really love and truly love.
And the prince would truly,truly love me.

"Im trying so hard not
to get caught up now.

But youre just so cool,
run your hands through your hair.

Absentmindedly making me
want you."

Labels: Absentmindedly making me want you

"It is better to have loved and loss than never to have loved at all."


I guess thats true.


Take deep breaths
when you get hurt,
it works.
Whenever i feel sad or
theres pain piercing through my chest,
i breathe in deep,
close my eyes and let it all out.

Or you may try screaming,
crying and trashing around in
your bed at night and cry it all out.
It works,
a lot.


I feel like i can cry any moment,break down any time.
In the middle of the street.
In the middle of the road.
Out of nowhere,
the tears can just fall like rain from the sky.


"When you feel the first drops of rain,
it means that your heart is
crying along with the sky.

When it is raining,it means
that the world is sad and
the sky is crying.

You and the sky,
are sharing each others pain.

The sky is crying because of the
pain it feels for the Earth.

Well,
you are crying
because of the loss of your love."

Do you notice when you run,your shoes wear out?
Well,so does love.

It wears out,
every second,
every step you take,
just like shoes.

The track,
the route,
the road,is your relationship and its surroundings.
When there is a stone on the ground,
you trip over it.
And so you trip over your own relationship,
and fall onto the ground.

You fall
down,
down,
down,
down,
till the relationship is over.


I get pissed off just by looking at you.
One look at you,
one thought of you,
would just get me into a thunderstorm.

I feel like taking a knife
and stabbing you in the heart
so that you would feel what i feel.

You did all these,because you cant feel how i would feel.


Have you experienced pain before?

Apparently,you havent.


No wonder there's no guilt in your heart when you resort to hatred.
No wonder you're like a beast,an animal,not even a human.
No wonder you're so rude.

Have you ever loved me?
Have you even thought about how i would feel?

No,apparently not.

"I thought we would survive,
but we were not strong enough.
I close my eyes,one minute youre there,
the other minute youre gone.

I put all my memories of you away,to forget about you.
I cancelled all those"I love you"
phrases out of my mind.

Sorry,but i dont love you.

I smiled,walked out of your life,
and created a new perfect happy
little world of mine where you
are no longer allowed inside."

I want to rip out your name out of my mind.
I want to step on your picture and throw it away.
I want to stomp on that piece of poem.
I want to let go of you,
and let go of this pain,
reborn, start a new life again,
and never turn back.

"Rain,
fall down on me.
Wet me with your souls.
The sound of you,a bliss in my ears.
Im in heaven,as my tears fell,
mixing in with your raindrops.
Feel my pain,and i would feel yours.
I touched your raindrops,the puddles,your water as you fill me in.
Im soaked,
soaked in your spirits.
You give me strength,
to live life again."

Labels: Rain

I finally got through the day without
thinking of you for a million times.
Well,at least i only thought of you for a few times today.
And thats a HUGE improvement.


I can say that ive been lost.
Ive been like a blind person
asking for help not knowing which direction to go
,covered around in darkness.

I felt that way when i was waiting for you,
reaching out for you,trying to hold you,
to come back to me,come back to my touch.

But you didnt come,you never did.
You never will.

But when i was reaching out in the dark,
trying so hard to see,
when everything was so pitch black,
i saw a tiny star twinkling back at me,
whispering,


"This way.
You dont need him,you need us.
This way."

And that tiny star resembles my loved ones,
my families and friends,my best friend.
I thank them so much,
for guiding me along.

At least,i wont get stuck with you.
You took me for granted,
and ill dump you this way.
You left me here to rot,
and ill throw you like trash into the rubbish bin.

Youre just a piece of rubbish,
so just get out of my life.


I dont want to see your face.
I dont want to see you.
I dont want to talk to you.


Seriously,can you just die?

I wish you'll get a car accident
and just die and get lost out of my life.

Im overwhelmed with anger,sadness,happiness and
im missing you at the same time.
All in one.


So how do you describe this feeling?
A crazy feeling of mine?



Yeah,i guess so.



Life has been great,nowadays
after i finally got through the day
without thinking of you that much.




My shattered heart is
finally fixing back itself.



"I was sitting in class when
i saw the phrase 'D love Izzah'
on the table written in pen.
I got frustrated,took an eraser
and tried to make it fade away.
It didnt work.
I grabbed a liquid and
got rid of it.
I smiled ,
and got back to work."

Labels: GOT RID OF YOU

I cant sleep yesterday.
I laid in bed,my eyes open,
thinking of you.

I thought of your voice,
your sweet words,
your teddy bear,
your poem,
your smile,
your face,
your smell.

I heard your voice at the back of my head,
whispering to me that you'll always love me.
My tears fell.

And i closed my eyes.


My mind started to cloud with your words.
I remembered the teddy bear that you gave me,
the love letter and the poem.
I remembered i placed the teddy bear,letter
and poem in a box,
where i promised to myself that i wont open it
just to see those three things lying there.

And i will never open it.

I remember your smell stuck to the bear.
I remembered the aroma from the bear
that came from your perfume.

I smiled at those old days,
when you would look at me,
wave at me,smile at me and
give me a flying kiss.

I remembered those old days.

Now ,whats left is only a memory,
that i could keep in my head
and carry it around in my dreams,
dreaming about you,feeling you and reaching out for you
,but just to know,that you actually
were'nt there beside me.


I couldnt reach out for you.
I couldnt hold on to you tight.
Instead,i let you slip away,
away from me to the darkness,
and never come back to me in the light
with me once again.


Sooner or later, as i grow older,
i cant cherish these memories anymore
because i will be getting older,and
it will be difficult to remember.

I remembered those old days when you loved me so much
and you didnt want to let me go.
You called me on the phone,
everyday.

But now,
its nothing.

What is left is just memories for me to cherish and remember.


I feel like running to you,
and hugging you,holding you tight.


But i cant,
i just cant.


I remember,i remember .
I remember those old days.


"I love you", i whispered to him.
"But i dont love you anymore." ,he whispered to me.
I fell.
I fell on the ground.
I soaked myself up in the rain of tears,
falling endlessly as he crushed,
stepped and walked over my heart.

Labels: heartbreak

You're leaving.
You'll be out of my life soon.

I dont want you to leave,
but i have no choice.
You wanted to leave,and i'll let you go
because i love you.

Ive realised i was such a fool
to be in love with you.
Ive realised you're not gonna be mine forever.
Ive realised that loving you was a big mistake.
Ive realised that our love cannot last.

Nevertheless,you were a part of my life.
You were one of my best memories so far,
and i thank you for that.
I thank you for loving me.
I thank you for being th one who loves me.

Andd,then,




its time to let go.



You'll always stay in my heart.
You forever will.


I promised i wont let go, and i'll keep to my promise.


I saw you today,early morning.

After that incident,i felt cold ,so cold
and i was shivering up inside.
I felt feverish after that incident.


My heart was aching.
It was aching through time.


I love you,i always did.
You said," Trust me,we will break up one century later."

I guess this will never happen.
Its a promise youve broken.
Youve broken the promise.

Youve broken it.
And ,i hate you for that.

I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.


I love you so much,and this is what you did to me?
What is this?
What's all this?

You allowed yourself to drift apart
from me and you allowed yourself
to drift closer to another girl.

It was all broken promises.

And yet,i still love you.

And for that,






I hate myself,for loving you.


"I hate you,but i love you. Sometimes,
when i see your face,those memories will come
rushing back like the ocean waves hitting me
along the shore.You promised,but you broke it."

Labels: I hate you

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