hiDdeN lOvE

Im done waiting. Its never gonna work.

2010-12-25T22:24:00.000-08:00

"Know that now."

Im tired.
And that's that.
Its time to stop.
Im gonna stop.
It has to stop.

"Yes,im gonna stop."

Strong.

2010-12-09T09:20:00.001-08:00

Be strong. Fight the tears. Be strong. Fight the tears.
Im strong. I can fight the tears.Im strong. I can fight the tears.
Im no longer strong.I no longer can fight the tears..

Im wondering,if you're worth to be cherished.

2010-12-09T00:30:00.000-08:00

"You dont even have a clue ,do you?
No,not of anything at all.
Its a shame then."

Maybe,i should just move on like nothing happened.
Walk on.
Run a little.
Skip faster.
Before you can catch up with me.
This feeling's too heavy.
I'm trying to control myself.

"And its sad,
that you'll never notice."

Demands.

2010-12-09T00:20:00.000-08:00

"What's wrong with me?"

Sometimes,i just feel like crying and running away from this world.
Running.
Run, till my shoes wear off.
Run, til i cant catch my breath.
Run, til theres no one left.
Run, til th sun gets swallowed by pitch darkness.
Run, to nowhere.
Run,even though it means,ill lose my breath and perhaps collapse.
Run,even though there are a thousand eyes staring at me.
Run,just run.
I'll run to get you out of my head.
Run,and ill try my best.
Run ,to th edge of th world.
Run,til there are no more tears.
In th end,ill stop.
To see what ive become,
all because of an unreachable love.
In th end,ill come back,
but i wouldn't want to see your face anymore.
Im defeated.
My dignity has worn off.
Theres nothing much left.

"Theres nothing much left,
but just a glimpse of memories of me ,
and you."

Time to wake up.

2010-12-09T00:13:00.000-08:00

And,this is what i feel.

"I'll always love you,
but you'll always be a dream."

You make me,feel like im living a teenage dream.

2010-12-03T19:35:00.000-08:00

Oh yes,you do.

Your voice,
your smile.
Just you.
It gets me everytime.

Oh yes,it does.

"So dont ever look back."

Oh simple thing,where have you gone?

2010-12-02T02:36:00.000-08:00

"Im getting old and I need something to rely on."

I feel your pain.
Im on th edge, breathing slightly.

Its that familiar heavy feeling that
you'll feel in your heart,alone on your bed,
letting th darkness embrace you,
swallowing you up,
as those tears fall.

Its familiar,very familiar.
Ive felt it,
before.

"Sometimes,its better to just close your eyes,
and escape from this world,
for a moment."

Fantasies.

2010-11-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

Im a fool.
A fool to expect too much.
I admit that i am very naive.

So,now
im living my life ,wrecking my brains off of you.

And,youre the best,
compared to the past.

Well,youre beautiful and enchanting,
too amazing,til i get carried away,
in my fantasies.

Great,so now, im the fool.
Its always been me.
Carrying all the heavy pain.
Of expecting too much.
Now i just feel like shutting my world off of you.
Can i just ignore you,just like that?
Now,that would be better.

So , how about the coming Tuesday?
Will it ever happen?
Will that hug,ever happen?
Should i just let go,just like that?
Should i just stop texting you?
Should i just ignore you,
and pretend nothing ever happened?

I wish i could.

We just dont know when will we go.

2010-10-06T00:55:00.000-07:00

"Live.Love.Let go."

Guess im still waiting in the rain.

And i love you more than i did before.

2010-09-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

Am i falling?
Again?
No more falling please.
Just please stop falling.
Ive had enough of this.

But i cant contain myself.
Cause i love you more than i did before.

Say you love me more than you did before.
Will you?
I hope so.

"Make me forget.
Make me forgive.
Make me believe you."

"I will stay."

Ears closed,lips sealed, eyes shut,away from the world.

2010-07-26T05:52:00.000-07:00

"Ive lost faith in you.Alot.
So,this is how i feel."

Its been raining lately.
I hope it reminds you of me.
I hope you remember.
Do you remember?
Does the rain remind you of me?

There's not much more to say.
I can write,i can complain,i can seek for advice.
But thats not enough to pour these feelings out.
I wished you know.
I wished i told you.
I wished that there was never a feeling of regret right now.
I wished i was laughing like a mad girl.
I wished.
I wished.
I wished for so many wishes.
If only,they could really come true.

"And,it will rain forever."

And i know i never told you,that i love you;now its all too late.

2010-06-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

"I caught a raindrop running down your cheek,
just like a tear."
-The Edge of Love

I smiled at no. 2.
I laughed at no. 4.
I smiled at no.6.
I laughed at no.8.
I rolled my eyes at no. 9.
I smiled at no.10.
I smiled(again) at no.11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20.
I like 21.
I love 22,23.
But i laughed th loudest at 24 and 25,
and i love it.

"There's a little bit of you
in everything."

I hate it when almost everything,
reminds me of you.
But im learning,slowly,
from heart to stone,
heart to stone.

"One day,the future becomes your past,
that is when you turn back and see your youth."
-Louis Aragon

And,im going to miss it...very much.

I need you now.

2010-05-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

TRUE.

"Dont be fooled by one's appearance and behaviour,
instead observe and see through his/her soul,
understanding whats within."

It hurts deeply,inside.
It aches everywhere.
Every part of me is aching.
And,there's the feeling again.
That dumb feeling.

"Where is my Superman when i need him?"

Stones,heavy like the love you've shown.

2010-05-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

"I feel as if something is lost,

without knowing what ive found.

I feel as if ive found something,

without knowing what im looking for.

And,i feel as if im still looking for something,

without knowing what is lost."

Seeking for true love in life,isnt easy.

Destiny will play with your emotions and

lead you into the wrong ones,giving you lessons

that will be learnt until you find the right one.

Life is like that.

"Someone that we think is ours,

actually isnt really ours.

We can have their heart,

their body and their love

but we'll never have their life."

How do you forget that someone who is

lost forever when he/she stays deeply in your heart?

Somehow,you know that you still love him/her

even though how many mistakes and wrongs

he/she have done.

Somehow how many wrongs you have done to him/her,you still love them.

Crazy,huh?

Yeah,crazy,i know.

This is life isnt it?

Life=Getting crazy with the craziness of everything.

Oh,GREAT.

"Every being has an empty space in

his/her heart.

When that someone comes along,

and we think that

he/she is the one who fills up that empty space,

he/she is actually just standing in front of the door and

pretending to fill that empty space up.

That empty space in our heart will always be there,

and it will never ever really be filled up."

True.

Very true.

"Something in your eyes makes me

wanna lose myself,

makes me wanna lose myself

in your arms.

There's something in your voice

makes my heart beat fast,

hope this feeling lasts ,

the rest of my life."

Its as meaningful as it could be.

2010-04-24T00:40:00.000-07:00

Well,the problem is ,
that i took it too seriously.

Heartbreaks and heartaches are enough to make your eyes wear out.

2010-04-23T17:42:00.000-07:00

That's all it is.

Its a wonder how girls can only get over guys after a few years and guys can get over girls for one day.

Pity us women huh?

Should'nt have loved them in th first place.

"People say we cant live without love,well,

i think OXYGEN is MORE IMPORTANT."

Pity us women ,always giving our whole hearts and souls in love.

Well guys,they only give 1%.

Okay,fine,to tell you th truth,1-60%.

"Of all the lies ive heard from you, 'I LOVE YOU' is my favourite."

When the sun shines,we'll shine together;know that we'll still have each other.

2010-04-15T04:41:00.000-07:00

"Baby,baby
When we first met,
I never felt something so strong.

You were like my lover and
my best friend ,

all wrapped into one ,
with a ribbon on it.

And all of a sudden,you
went and left

I didnt know how
to follow,

its like a shock that spun me around
And now my heart's dead,
i feel so empty and hollow.

And i'll never give myself to another
the way i giveit to you.
Cant even recognize the ways
you hurt me do you?

Its gonna take a miracle to bring me back,
and youre the one to blame."

You came ,you left.
Thats great.
How do we accept life when all the things in
life is what you really cant accept?

Im tired of being tired,im tired of being pissed,
im tired of being tired,im tired of being pissed,
im tired of being tired,im tired of being pissed,
im tired of being tired,im tired of being pissed.

"How do you come and go,
as and whenever you like?
Never should have delved deep into this,oh,i hate it"

People are now caring about themselves,being self-minded,and not caring about others.Is World War III starting?I guess it is.

I dont understand you,i seriously dont.
Come on, ill be Trotsky and you'll be Stalin.
Is that fair?
Fair enough?

"Where is the love? I cant see the love cause theres war,pain hurt and lies everywhere you go in this world."

I guess life is sad,but it can be beautiful at times,
when everything goes perfect as it should be.

"If youre an atomic bomb,ill be an explosion.
If youre a virus,ill be a terrible disease.
If youre dead,ill be alive,
and GLAD that youre DEAD."

And when i lie all by myself,i see your face,i hear your voice;my heart stays faithful.

2010-04-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

"If i beg and if i cried,
would it change the sky tonight?
Will it give me some light?

Should i wait for you to call?
Is there any hope at all?
Are you drifting by?

I tried to reach you,
i can almost feel you.

You're nearly here

and then,

you disappear.."

Its funny,in life,
when you keep falling in and out of love.

Why cant we have true love straightaway?
In an instant?
In just a snap?
In just a blink of our eyes?

Why do we always have to experience pain,
secrets,lies and hurt?

That is the question always bothering me.

Why?
Why,why,why?
Why cant life be full of happy endings?

"Sometimes I wonder,
have you ever cared about me?
Do you even care about me at all?

Oh,sad case.
The answer's no."

How do i contain this pain?
Its funny how i mask my pain with happiness.
Its funny how i keep all the pain inside me and
try not to show it to others.
So,how do i express all this to you?
You'll never understand cause you've never experienced pain before,
have you?

Do you know how painful it was?
Do you know how painful it was when you just left me like that,
without even saying a word?
How can you be so inhumane?
Do you think im just a toy,with no feelings at all?

Why am i still in love with you?
Oh my god,im still desiring for you.
Why?
After all what you've done to me?

Why cant i get over you?
Why is it so difficult?
Is it because youre my first love?
So, is that it?
Is it because of that?

"We've never had lots of memories together,
but i dont know why i cant forget you."

But,i'll move on.
Its okay,im better off without you.

"In the middle of the night,
when im in this dream,
its like a million little stars,
spelling out your name ,
you gotta, c'mon, c'mon,
say that we'll be together,
c'mon,c'mon,
little taste of heaven."

I think im falling for you.

2010-03-22T00:54:00.000-07:00

"Oh rain,
fall down,
fall down on me.
soak me in your tears and fall down on me.."

I dont know why im so commited to the rain nowadays.
whenever it rains,my heart would be filled with joy
but deep inside ,its etched with sadness and pain
that the rain brings.

"Rain are tears from the sky ,
and as we cry , our tears will
evaporate to form the rain.

Rain is actually our tears that floats
up to heaven,the skies and fall back
down to Earth again to form the rain.

So,
that is rain;it is our tears."

Ever wondered who is the Moon's lover?
Ive wondered too.
She's always lonely up there.

One day,i wanna fly up to the moon in a rocket and keep her company.
Yeah, thats what ill do.
So,if you see me up in th moon ill wave at you,and i hope that you'll wave back at me too.

"Orange,apple,banana ,strawberry."

I take these turns a bit too fast , trying to leave you in my past.

2010-03-19T05:26:00.000-07:00

"The skies cried again today,
as i danced in the rain.

I looked at my reflection
in the water,
jumping over puddles and
taking in the rain,
closing my eyes and soaking it all in,
thinking about the times
we shared.

But sometimes,
i wonder why i thought
about it at all."

I still hate you.
And,i'll hate you forever.

Of that,i am proud and certain of.

I was trapped in a jar but there are cracks slowly
forming up,giving me some air to breathe and
the ability to come out of my imprisonment.

To breathe in fresh air again and
to see the blue sky,
to feel the green grass and
to smell the flowers.

"Is this my life?", im wondering.
It happened so fast ,how do i turn
these things around?"

Sometimes,
i wonder whether this is the life i chose.

Sometimes i wish,that all the pain and hurt that
i've experienced in life could be deleted easily
like a pencil mark on paper,
erased by an eraser
or a pen error,
erased with correction liquid.

"The one weakness i hate about girls
is that they easily fall in love."

I am falling ,again.
To whom,i dont know.
And with whom,I dont have a clue.

"Wild horses,i wanna be like you.
Wish i could recklessly love,like im longing to.
I wanna run with the wild horses,
run with the wild horses."

Laugh,till you faint on the floor.

2010-03-10T00:27:00.000-08:00

"The skies were crying so much today.
I guess there were like billions of souls
in the world feeling down,
and not only me."

I didnt see you again today.
Oh well,youre dead.

Who cares anyway?

You gave me heartache.
So flee,you little fly.
Shoo,go away.
I dont want to see your face.
And,i dont even want to hear your name being mentioned.

I'll just call you 'little fly' from now onwards.

"Life was such a bliss,
then i saw you,
and it turned into a wreck."

I hate it when you tap your card on the ez link machine
and the thing goes 'TEET-TEET-TEET' just
because your card ran out of value.
You would have millions of eyes staring at you like you just did a crime,
your face would turn beet red
and thats what we call,
SELF HUMILIATION.

Seriously,the people in the bus would just stare at you
like nobody's business when that machine goes 'TEET-TEET-TEET'.
I hate it when people stare at me in such a humiliating way.

I mean,
havent your cards ran out of value before too?

"Life is like a roller coaster ride,
its crazy."

Sometimes i would laugh for such a long time
at just a simple thing.
Even just twirling and running to pinch a
person's cheek would make me laugh for hours.

And,sometimes i would be angry for such a long time.
But it takes only one stupid funny thing to happen,
to make me rolling on the floor laughing again.

Well,i think at the end of this post,
you would find that im actually an insane mad woman who needs to go to IMH right now.

Anybody care to send me?
I'll pay you 20 cents if you care to send me there to and fro to IMH.

Well, at least its 20 cents rather than 10 cents right?

"Just at the very thought of the littlest
funny moments would make me laugh
away for hours.

Just at the very thought of you
would keep me smiling for hours.

Just at the very sight of you
would keep me blushing for hours.

And,thats what i like about life."

I fell in love,in love with you suddenly.

2010-03-09T05:16:00.000-08:00

"Today was a fairytale,
I wore a dress.
You wore a dark grey t-shirt.
Today was a fairytale."

I didnt really see your face today.
Did you die?

I guess you did.
Oh,its good then if youre dead already.
At least i wont have to see you everyday
and ill only pray for you miles away when youre in your grave.

You were always there in the shadows and you
will forever be just a part of a shadow in my life
because shadows dont need to be acknowledged
and neither do i want to acknowledge you,anyway.

Just go to the edge of a cliff and jump down,okays?
You'll be proud to see me smiling when youre dead.
Ill just smile for you when youre dead,
nothing more,nothing less.

I dont even care if youre with another girl,she can have you.
I dont mind giving you to her.
If she only wants you.

Do you think she wants you?

No.
I dont think so.

And i dont think you'll
have a wife when you grow up.
Aww, thats sad.
Go and rot off.
I dont want you anymore.

Goodbye.

"Time slows down,whenever you're around."

You cannot have high hopes on anybody,not even yourself.
Because it will result to you falling,
in the deep hole,
like Alice in Wonderland.

Just care to look,before you jump.

"Sometimes,
in life you have to accept facts.
There will be some times when you
just cannot accept it,and you run off,
crying your heart out.

But after the thunderstorm is over,
the sun will always be back again.
And thats just the same thing.

After you cry,you just feel yourself
getting more strength and being a new you,
kicking the old you away,leaving its weaknesses
and getting more matured day by day after
every tear and you just get up on your feet again
and be strong,once more
to live life to its fullest."

Its time to live life again.

"Atonement.
As i atone to the mistakes in my life,
i atone to my greatest fears and fix
back the hole ive made in it."

Keep in your mind that there is always
more than one chance in life.

Atonement,
is not just a big word and
its not just some romance,warfare,sad love movie or novel.

Atonement here,
applies to life.

Atonement means to correct your mistakes
that you have made in the past.

Therefore,
if you have read the novel or watched the movie,
you would understand now,
why is the title called Atonement.

Once youve made mistakes in your life,
theres no way to look back.
All you can do is just to keep you head high,
look forward and dont repeat those mistakes again.

Never repeat it ever again.

And try your best to atone it.

"Today was a fairytale,
you were the prince,i
used to be a damsel in distress.
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way youve kissed me.
I fell in love when i saw you standing there,
today was a fairytale."

You make me fall,absentmindedly,into you.

2010-03-08T02:45:00.000-08:00

"Cause im not your princess.
This aint a fairytale.
Im gonna find someone somewhere,
who might actually treat me well."

I dont love you anymore.
I threw you out of my heart.
Yet,sometimes,
those sad love songs remind me of you.

And thats what that hurts most.
I can feel the pain piercing through my
chest when i listen to those sad love songs.

I dont look at your teddy bear anymore,
its rubbish.
Its trash.

Whoever wants it,take it.
Im selling it for 10 cents.

Worthless teddy bear.

But,im still asking myself ,
how did our love went this way?

What happen?

Is it because of that girl?
Is it because of me?

And,why am i asking myself this?
Because,you dont deserve me.

Youre worthless,hopeless and useless,
according to my dictionary.

And that's that.

"I like the way you run your
hands through your hair.

I like it,how you sound so tired
and look so blur in the early morning.

I like it how you never give up in learning
how to play the song on the piano that
you want me to teach even though how
difficult it is for you to manage.

I like the way you have deep
interest in piano and music.

I like that."

I find myself blushing when i look at you.
Youre cute,you know?

I laugh to myself whenever you sound so blur.
Typically you.

You told me you cried when you watched Titanic.
I didnt know guys cried.

You made me smile,even in my darkest hours.

I like it when you get protective and when
you say that you want to bash him up.

Yeah,just bash him up.
Hes a piece of trash.

I like it the most,when you look at me and smile.

I love disturbing you,
cause for sure,
that smile on your face will appear and
light up the whole world.

"I find myself blushing when i see you.
I love it when you run your hands through your hair.
Its very nice,
the way you do it.
I smile at the very thought of you."

Time slows down,whenever you're around. Today was a fairytale.

2010-03-07T04:21:00.000-08:00

"These fairytales are not to be forgotten and will never be forgotten."

I feel like im in a fairytale right now.
Well,at least i could wish that im in one.

I wish the reality was just dreams and
the dreams were a reality.
I wish i could run and find my fairytale,
grab it and hold on to it.

As i walk through the woods,im searching for a sign of love.
A sign of love that would drive me crazy.
A sign of love that would make me blush.
A sign of my Prince.

Im looking for my Prince,searching in agony,
but hes nowhere to be found.

Where are you?
Where is my Prince?

"I look back to see my miserable past.
I took it in my hands and threw it in the
oceans where it would sink,
one by one,
my mind forgetting it,
slowly."

As i walked through the woods,i stumbled upon a magical well.
I looked at my reflection,and i asked myself

"Who is my prince?Who is my true love?"

I dropped a coin into the well,
wishing for my true love,my Prince
to appear right in front of my eyes.

Nothing happened.
I guess the magical well
wasnt magic after all.

But then,
i saw him.

I saw my Prince.

He was waiting for me all this while,
with his white horse.
I ran to him.
He kissed me,hugged me and we fled to his castle,
where we lived happily ever after.

This will be my happy ending
when ive found my true love.

If only it could happen.

"Today was a fairytale,
you were the prince.
I used to be a damsel in distress.
You took me by the hand and
you picked me up at six.
Today was a fairytale."

You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.

2010-03-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

"The wind blows past,
carrying all my nightmares
and fears away,
leaving me in peace.

I want to run from the past,and create a new life.
I want to.

Wind,
carry me along in your arms.
Let me feel your breeze as you pass by.
Fill me in with your soul as you brush me.
And most importantly,
let me feel your love."

How do you feel when youre near bliss and sadness,
feeling pain and happiness at the same time?

How would you feel if you hide all your fears
and pain inside and smiled on the outside instead?

So can you move aside,
and get lost out of my life?

Youre ugly inside out,and i dont need you.
I shouldnt have loved you in the first place.

Why did i fall in love with you?
Why?

Why was i such a fool to fall for you?
What did i see in you?

And,

why am i asking myself these when its already over now?

"You made me smile.
you made me frown.

You made me laugh,
you made me cry.

But you made me hurt,
when you walked out of my life.

It stabbed me like a knife.
And now,im gonna stab you back,mercilessly.

I dont love you anymore.

Get out of my head,
i dont need you.

I dont want you.

I dont miss you."

One day,im gonna find my fairytale.
My true fairytale.
Where the prince would be someone
i really love and truly love.
And the prince would truly,truly love me.

"Im trying so hard not
to get caught up now.

But youre just so cool,
run your hands through your hair.

Absentmindedly making me
want you."

Take deep breaths,and let it all out.

2010-03-05T04:29:00.000-08:00

"It is better to have loved and loss than never to have loved at all."

I guess thats true.

Take deep breaths
when you get hurt,
it works.
Whenever i feel sad or
theres pain piercing through my chest,
i breathe in deep,
close my eyes and let it all out.

Or you may try screaming,
crying and trashing around in
your bed at night and cry it all out.
It works,
a lot.

I feel like i can cry any moment,break down any time.
In the middle of the street.
In the middle of the road.
Out of nowhere,
the tears can just fall like rain from the sky.

"When you feel the first drops of rain,
it means that your heart is
crying along with the sky.

When it is raining,it means
that the world is sad and
the sky is crying.

You and the sky,
are sharing each others pain.

The sky is crying because of the
pain it feels for the Earth.

Well,
you are crying
because of the loss of your love."

Do you notice when you run,your shoes wear out?
Well,so does love.

It wears out,
every second,
every step you take,
just like shoes.

The track,
the route,
the road,is your relationship and its surroundings.
When there is a stone on the ground,
you trip over it.
And so you trip over your own relationship,
and fall onto the ground.

You fall
down,
down,
down,
down,
till the relationship is over.

I get pissed off just by looking at you.
One look at you,
one thought of you,
would just get me into a thunderstorm.

I feel like taking a knife
and stabbing you in the heart
so that you would feel what i feel.

You did all these,because you cant feel how i would feel.

Have you experienced pain before?

Apparently,you havent.

No wonder there's no guilt in your heart when you resort to hatred.
No wonder you're like a beast,an animal,not even a human.
No wonder you're so rude.

Have you ever loved me?
Have you even thought about how i would feel?

No,apparently not.

"I thought we would survive,
but we were not strong enough.
I close my eyes,one minute youre there,
the other minute youre gone.

I put all my memories of you away,to forget about you.
I cancelled all those"I love you"
phrases out of my mind.

Sorry,but i dont love you.

I smiled,walked out of your life,
and created a new perfect happy
little world of mine where you
are no longer allowed inside."

I want to rip out your name out of my mind.
I want to step on your picture and throw it away.
I want to stomp on that piece of poem.
I want to let go of you,
and let go of this pain,
reborn, start a new life again,
and never turn back.

"Rain,
fall down on me.
Wet me with your souls.
The sound of you,a bliss in my ears.
Im in heaven,as my tears fell,
mixing in with your raindrops.
Feel my pain,and i would feel yours.
I touched your raindrops,the puddles,your water as you fill me in.
Im soaked,
soaked in your spirits.
You give me strength,
to live life again."

Getting rid of you,was never easy. Not getting rid of you was too easy.

2010-03-03T03:54:00.000-08:00

I finally got through the day without
thinking of you for a million times.
Well,at least i only thought of you for a few times today.
And thats a HUGE improvement.

I can say that ive been lost.
Ive been like a blind person
asking for help not knowing which direction to go
,covered around in darkness.

I felt that way when i was waiting for you,
reaching out for you,trying to hold you,
to come back to me,come back to my touch.

But you didnt come,you never did.
You never will.

But when i was reaching out in the dark,
trying so hard to see,
when everything was so pitch black,
i saw a tiny star twinkling back at me,
whispering,

"This way.
You dont need him,you need us.
This way."

And that tiny star resembles my loved ones,
my families and friends,my best friend.
I thank them so much,
for guiding me along.

At least,i wont get stuck with you.
You took me for granted,
and ill dump you this way.
You left me here to rot,
and ill throw you like trash into the rubbish bin.

Youre just a piece of rubbish,
so just get out of my life.

I dont want to see your face.
I dont want to see you.
I dont want to talk to you.

Seriously,can you just die?

I wish you'll get a car accident
and just die and get lost out of my life.

Im overwhelmed with anger,sadness,happiness and
im missing you at the same time.
All in one.

So how do you describe this feeling?
A crazy feeling of mine?

Yeah,i guess so.

Life has been great,nowadays
after i finally got through the day
without thinking of you that much.

My shattered heart is
finally fixing back itself.

"I was sitting in class when
i saw the phrase 'D love Izzah'
on the table written in pen.
I got frustrated,took an eraser
and tried to make it fade away.
It didnt work.
I grabbed a liquid and
got rid of it.
I smiled ,
and got back to work."

I remember,those old days.

2010-03-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

I cant sleep yesterday.
I laid in bed,my eyes open,
thinking of you.

I thought of your voice,
your sweet words,
your teddy bear,
your poem,
your smile,
your face,
your smell.

I heard your voice at the back of my head,
whispering to me that you'll always love me.
My tears fell.

And i closed my eyes.

My mind started to cloud with your words.
I remembered the teddy bear that you gave me,
the love letter and the poem.
I remembered i placed the teddy bear,letter
and poem in a box,
where i promised to myself that i wont open it
just to see those three things lying there.

And i will never open it.

I remember your smell stuck to the bear.
I remembered the aroma from the bear
that came from your perfume.

I smiled at those old days,
when you would look at me,
wave at me,smile at me and
give me a flying kiss.

I remembered those old days.

Now ,whats left is only a memory,
that i could keep in my head
and carry it around in my dreams,
dreaming about you,feeling you and reaching out for you
,but just to know,that you actually
were'nt there beside me.

I couldnt reach out for you.
I couldnt hold on to you tight.
Instead,i let you slip away,
away from me to the darkness,
and never come back to me in the light
with me once again.

Sooner or later, as i grow older,
i cant cherish these memories anymore
because i will be getting older,and
it will be difficult to remember.

I remembered those old days when you loved me so much
and you didnt want to let me go.
You called me on the phone,
everyday.

But now,
its nothing.

What is left is just memories for me to cherish and remember.

I feel like running to you,
and hugging you,holding you tight.

But i cant,
i just cant.

I remember,i remember .
I remember those old days.

"I love you", i whispered to him.
"But i dont love you anymore." ,he whispered to me.
I fell.
I fell on the ground.
I soaked myself up in the rain of tears,
falling endlessly as he crushed,
stepped and walked over my heart.

I hate you,youve broken all those promises..

2010-03-01T01:36:00.000-08:00

You're leaving.
You'll be out of my life soon.

I dont want you to leave,
but i have no choice.
You wanted to leave,and i'll let you go
because i love you.

Ive realised i was such a fool
to be in love with you.
Ive realised you're not gonna be mine forever.
Ive realised that loving you was a big mistake.
Ive realised that our love cannot last.

Nevertheless,you were a part of my life.
You were one of my best memories so far,
and i thank you for that.
I thank you for loving me.
I thank you for being th one who loves me.

Andd,then,

its time to let go.

You'll always stay in my heart.
You forever will.

I promised i wont let go, and i'll keep to my promise.

I saw you today,early morning.

After that incident,i felt cold ,so cold
and i was shivering up inside.
I felt feverish after that incident.

My heart was aching.
It was aching through time.

I love you,i always did.
You said," Trust me,we will break up one century later."

I guess this will never happen.
Its a promise youve broken.
Youve broken the promise.

Youve broken it.
And ,i hate you for that.

I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.

I love you so much,and this is what you did to me?
What is this?
What's all this?

You allowed yourself to drift apart
from me and you allowed yourself
to drift closer to another girl.

It was all broken promises.

And yet,i still love you.

And for that,

I hate myself,for loving you.

"I hate you,but i love you. Sometimes,
when i see your face,those memories will come
rushing back like the ocean waves hitting me
along the shore.You promised,but you broke it."

I'll'll come running into your arms,and im yours forever.

2010-02-28T02:35:00.000-08:00

I didnt manage to forget you,
past this weeks.
Well, i managed to think even more about you.
Congratulations to me.

I miss you so much that i feel like running into you
and hugging you whenever i see your face.
I wanted to hold you so tight whenever i see you.
I wanted to run into you,smash into you.

I feel like crying,whenever i think of you too much.
But i always tell myself,

"You gotta be strong.You cannot let those tears fall."

I feel like running away,
from hurt,
from reality,
from destiny,
from fate.

I wish i could avoid all these.
But,of course
,i cant.

Life is like a butterfly trapped in a jar.
Andd then,two days later,if you're not strong enough to survive,

you'll die.

I feel like shutting my eyes and ears out of life,
i feel like not wanting to look at life anymore.

I feel like embracing myself in the cold,
hugging myself out of the eternal darkness
safe where i want to be,
doing my own things,and not exposed in life.

"Love is like a butterfly. It can live or it can die.

I guess this is true.

"Dont fall in love. Fall off a bridge ,it hurts less."

Andd i guess this is true too.

I wish there is a rainbow in the sky right now,
and we can just fly towards it,
live our lifes in the rainbow,and find eternal happiness.

But,eternal happiness dont exist.
That is life.

I miss you.
When are you coming back?
When are you coming back here in my arms,once again?

When,when?
When?
A billion centuries later?
A million years later?

Till our deaths?

I need you now.
Please dont go away.
Dont leave.
Please stay.
Forever.

"I miss you so much.
i'll run to you, when i see you and
i'll kiss you, hug you and hold you,
for eternity."

Its not a fairytale,it never was. It will always be a nightmare.

2010-02-24T02:45:00.000-08:00

I finally know why life is not a fairytale,
and why it doesnt end with happy endings.

I finally know why people say,
"dont put on high expectations"
and "dont put on high hopes"
cause it will only bring you the opposite of
what you expected and sadness.

"Persuasive eloquence,outstanding charm."

Thats what i say to myself when i see you.
You are full of that.

I dont care what people say about you.
I dont care if people dont see you as i see you.
I dont care if people dont realise your charm.
What matters the most now is,
i see your charm more than anything else.

But now,
my heart hurts because of that blinding charm of yours.

That is why,
now i know,that life arent full of fairytales and happy endings.

I realised that life doesnt have Romeo and Juliet in them,
neither does it have Prince Charming and Cinderella,
Rose and Jack nor Beauty and the Beast.

"Life is not a fairytale,it never was.
Instead,life is a heartaching nightmare."

No more fairytales.
Its time to grow up.
Its time to realise that youre fifteen,
and not five anymore.

Its time to learn from heartaches and heart breaks,
and if you fall just get back up again.

But,at the end of the day,
this phrase will still be stuck in my head.

"I love you,always."

"Even though you might be a bastard,
you're wonderful at the same time.
I can see how you can be
magnificent and malevolent at times,
charming yet ugly,rude and yet,charismatic.That is why,
as the clock ticks,it dies with every thought of you."

This post has a lot of in-depth meaning.
Read it sentence by sentence ,
and you'll figure it out one by one.
And then,you will understand.

But sometimes,you wont.

That's how life is.

I love you,i dont care what people say,all i know is that i love you.

2010-02-22T00:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt that feeling ,
where you love that someone
and that someone loves you but
he/she abandons you,left with loneliness and emptiness
in your heart?

Well,im feeling this way right now.

Have you ever felt that feeling ,
of loneliness,abandonment and
desire at the same time?

Have you ever felt that feeling of
being alone and left
by the person you love,
but most importantly,
desiring them altogether?

Well,this is what im feeling right now.

Pain.
When i see you,i felt pain and
joy at the same time.
I managed to forget you
through laughter and joy,
but all of a sudden ,you will pop in my mind.
Even your favorite song reminds me of you.

"Trust me ,we will break one century later."
Those were the words you said.

Im sick of waiting.
Im sick and tired of waiting for you.
And all those broken promises.

But i'll still love you,no matter what.
And i'll wait for you.

Like Juliet,waiting for her Romeo.
Like Rose,promising not to let go of Jack.
Like Savannah,always loving John,
no matter how far they are

Even though how far you are,
even a million miles away,
i'll wait for you.

And i'll always love you.

I'll promise,i'll promise,
never to let go.I love you,come back..
Come back to me..

I heart you;

2010-02-14T18:43:00.000-08:00

YO peeps!!!

Its th festive year ppl!!
Valentines Day and Chinese New Year was YESTERDAY!!
Both on th same day,WOWness!
Andd im in a festive mood rite now!!

Soo,i guess its a Happy Chinese Valentines New Year Day..???

Hahahs,lawls!

Oh yeahh,
ive been catching this
television series showing on Hallmark,ch 17,
entitled Merlin.

*woots,cheers,woots!!!!*

YEAHH,i love this show!!
Merlin is totally awesome!!
U guys should catch it!!

I love the main character, which is of course....

*DRUMROLL!!*

MERLIN!!!!!

Colin Morgan acts as Merlin, andd i love him!

This is Colin Morgan a.k.a Merlin by th way..

So yeahh!! xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

And another Merlin,xDDDDD

And another Merlin!!

Yeahh,thats about it!!!
I GTG ,guys!!
Make sure u guys catch Merlin okays!!

* wink,wink!!*

I love you. Come back ..come back to me..

2009-10-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hahlohs!!
Its been a long time since ive blogged,
been missing you guys!

Bwahahahs!!!

Oh yea,oh yea!!
Next yr im going to india wif mrs lee!!
I know im over reacting,
cuz its like NEXT YEAR.

hahahahs!
so,me n reuben are gonna try
out all th sarees there
n we dance sum random indian
dance around th TAJ MAHAL!!!

HAHAHAHS,im
sooo egg-citted!!!!

oh ya,last thurs went to little india,
n th whole class went to little india,
n we walked around little india,
n we ate prata in little india,
n we saw alot of caucasians in little india,
n we went gugu-gaga over them in little india!

WOOTS!

HAHA,n there was tis indian guy
tt walked pass sharmila
n smiled n looked at her.

WOOTS,sharmilas
got a secret admirer!!!!

LOL,friggin random today,
don mind me.

kay den ppl,
gtg,
and cheerios!

i dont love you,like i did,yesterday

2009-07-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

HAHLOHS!!

today
we didnt had PE
cuz mr toh went for the ayg thingy.

n we were'nt given
any work since its PE
the whole two periods.

wat work do u wanna get anyway
during PE leave?
jog two rounds round the class?

people might be thinking
th teacher and the students are MAD.

:DD

i sat beside eileen
as usual,
and we didn't had anything to do
so we played tic tac toe!!

HAHA.

:DD

and,i ocassionally
found out that i was a sore loser in tic tac toe.

tic tac toe score(eileen v.s izzah)

E . I

16 1

hahahs!!

and,eileen was like laughing away.
ohhgoshh..

:DD

den,after sch
walked to the bus stop
with ash
and we went to
buy milo ice pops.

was delicious!!

yums.

hahahs
:DD

yea,tts all to say den

ive got

loads,loads,loads,loads,loads,
loads,loads,loads,loads,loads,
loads,loads,loads,loads,loads,
and LOADS of homework.

hahahs.

:DD

kays den,
cheerios!

you're my fallen star ,

2009-06-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

HAHLOHS!

yesterday was my birthday!
the 21st of june

:DD

YAY!

my parents brought me out
and had lots of fun.

the day before my birthday,
i went to sentosa with
my cousins
to watch songs of the sea

we went for the last show,
8:40pm
and it was very fun!

the show was very extravagant.
they had lights in
variety of colurs
,water spray spraying up
40 metres high
and even real life fire bursting out
from the sea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:DD
WOW!

truly was a very beautiful
experience.

:DD

will cherish it
every moment.

hope to watch it again!

:DD

HAIZ,
love it so much!

okays den,ppl

CHEERIOS!

i love eating strawberries

2009-06-13T02:54:00.001-07:00

HAHLOHS!

today is a saturday!
wolala.
celebrate!

hahahs
:D

band is resuming
next week.
shout for joy.
miss band soo much already.
and my darling clarinet.

ohh goshh.
nth else to talk bout,
so,
cheerios!!

:DDD

i love you.

2009-06-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

yo.yo.YO!

hahahs
:D

holy mama.
just recently finished
reading a book
called 'North child'
or also known as
'East'.

its a great book.
very nice.
about a girl who
finds her
true destiny and
true love.

rate it 5/5 stars.
:D

ohhgoshh.

oh ya,
band during the holidays as usual.
oh,
and on the 20th Jun
is fathers day!!

woohoo!!

anyone who doesnt
know that
means they do
not love their
daddy.

i love my daddy cuz he's my hero!!
:DD

holy mama.
im lame.
craps.

oh ya,
and ive just recently
checked out
the movie
'the uninvited'.

i watched the trailer
and i heard
the soundtrack
but i havent
watched the movie yet.
lol.

.____.

but,the soundtrack is
very nice
and so is the trailer.
christopehr young
is a genius!!

ohhgoshh.

okthen.
byes.

:D

Katy Perry - New Music - More Music Videos

my world turned upside down,my dreams turned upright up.

2009-05-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

Hahlohs.

today was fun.
i was one of those
selected students
to go to
ngee ann poly
for a workshop.

:D

at the same time,
got results.

ohhgoshh.

miserable.
ridiculous.
terrible.
horrible.

haiz.

shan't
say bout it.

dont want to spoil my mood
:DD

happy.happy.happy.happy.
happy.happy.happy.happy.
happy.happy.happy.happy.
happy.happy.happy.happy.

hahahs

yay
tomorrow,there's still workshop.
from 8am to 5 30 pm

shout for joy.
it means no lessons tomorrow,uhs.

okays..
nth much to say

so..

cheerios!

life is a maze and love is a riddle

2009-05-19T23:39:00.001-07:00

HEY,HEY,HEY'S

holy mama.
exams are over!!

hooray!!!

hahahs

:DD

so high rite now.

hahahahs

ohh goshh

actually,not all exams are over.
tomorrow's the last one,
ART EXAM

ohheaven.

itll be great cuz art is fun!
time to get messy with paintings
hahahs

:DD

kays
guess i got to go.

cheerios!!

P.S enjoy the vid below uhs. :D

The Show by Lenka

i'm in lala land,you're from wonderland

2009-05-16T03:42:00.000-07:00

YO,PEOPLE!!

note this,
i am obsessed with blood plus,
the anime and the opening song!

the song is soo nice to listen to
oh yahs,the song that im talking
about is below,for your information.

:DD

its a very nice japanese song.
dont believe me?
try listening to it.

:DD

the title of the song is aozora no namida.
which means 'tears of the blue sky.'

another title for it is also
'tears of heaven'

:DD

try listening, kays??

i bet you'll get addicted to it uhs.

:DD

hahahs.
ok then,

cheerios!

P.S enjoy the song :DD

'tears of the blue sky',aozora no namida

dark blue,light blue erm...purple blue(??)

2009-05-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

HAHLOHS!!

history paper was quite easy.
and im quite confident i will pass.

:DD

anywaes,after school
went back with reuben.
went to bus stop.
talked about jokes and
laughed my
kidney
liver
heart
ass
lungs
OUT!

all the way til the bus stop

hahahs
:DDD

by the time i reached the bus stop,
i wont be alive anymore.
but i survived.

:DD

den saw wan xin,eileen and yvonne
and waited
for that bus to come.

toookkk suchhh a longgg timmmeeee
justtt toooo waittt forrrr aaa
busss numbereddd
55.

.__________.

hahahs
sorry for the ' inconvenience '

:DD

oh yahs,after tt walked back home as usual.
:DD

oh yahs,enjoy the vid,
specially for all the people out there!

ok then

cheerios!!

Dark Blue

Jack's Mannequin - New Music - More Music Videos

P.S even though this song has been out for so long,its still nice.
hope you enjoy it.
:D

no matter how hard i shoot him,hell never die

2009-05-12T22:32:00.001-07:00

YO'S!!

ohmygoshh

i can feel the heat of the exam period.
stressful

today was geo paper.
mt and eng paper over.

geo paper today was not bad.
except for section c
diaos

tmrw is history
and its gonna be heaven.

:D

cuz i love history.
but i hate the teacher

._____________.
diaos..

hahahs

i gtg den..byes..

and tis is the shortest post ive written in history.
nop.
i tink there's even shorter ones.

oh, crap.

holy mama.

cheerios!

You Belong With Me

Taylor Swift - New Music - More Music Videos

candies falling,from the sky

2009-05-05T06:36:00.000-07:00

hahlohs!

its been a long time since ive posted.
missed you guys.
aww.give me a kiss and a hug.

hahahs.

ohgoshh

3 days left to mid year exam
ganbatte!

i will top my exams.i will top my exams.i will top my exams.i will top my exams.i will top my exams.i will top my exams.i will top my exams.i will top my exams.i will top my exams.

im crazy,dont you know?
bet you already know.

hahahs

im lame uhs?

my maths is improving,and im proud of it.

:D

haiyosh
but,my science textbook is lossssttt
holy mama.

have to buy new one then.
before the science exam starts.

hahahs,had science test at school just now.
and
almost everyone in the class copied each other.

including me.

:D

cool uhs?

oh ya,gtg.

byes.

oh ya, one more thing,im currently obsessed with the movie,stardust.
:D

goshh,im so random uhs?

kays,
cheerios

i'll be right beside you dear,

2009-04-27T05:35:00.000-07:00

wolala.

maths hmwrk: left at school
mt hmwrk: dont know how to do
eng compo: no inspiration
lit hmwrk: cant be bothered

holy mama.seems like im getting lazier and lazier each day.
i feel so out-of-place lately.
the kind of not-in-the mood-to-study kind of feeling.

ohgosh

havtostudy.havtostudy.havtostudy.havtostudy.havtostudy.havtostudy.havtostudy.havtostudy.

argh

havtobuckup,dontslack.havtobuckup,dontslack.havtobuckup,dontslack.havtobuckup,dontslack.

im going crazy
send me to imh,uhs?

lol

gtg

ohyeahs,ppl out there,remind me to study if u see me slacking,yeahs?

hahahs!

Im falling like a domino,

2009-04-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

HAHLOHS!

Back from Growth Camp, i miss Growth Camp.. tsk..

miss all the TRAINERS!!!

Day 1

had ice-breakers..
grouped with some of the sec 4's
our trainer is leo and sue ping
hear this
SUE PING IS IDIOTIC!!

hahahs..den later had some courses..
n had buffet dinner!!
den had night walk...grouped
with chinyang,carmen and grace..
:D

Day 2

went to SENTOSA..!
WAS DAMN NICE...
noob..i felt like ive nvr been there before..
but i went there lots of times...lol
had amazing race there...

den had campfire...
was damn high..:D

Day 3
had cheer competition..
high..
high..
high...
became crazy wif chinyang..

Homed.

the above was just a summary...
many crazy things happened anywae..
which,
im not gonna tell u.
wakakaka!!

:DD

diaos...off to sleep...
cheerios..:D

beautiful,

2009-04-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

HALLOS!!!!!

dunno y but thought about beautiful
and posted that picture
and,plus im listening through beautiful by akon

nice song,love it mans!!!

i love akon!!

WAKAKAKAKAKAS!!!!

lol

went to E!HUB @ downtown east last friday..
after that went to watch the movie 'Knowing'
at golden village yishun..

the movie is nice uhs..
love it..

its a thriller and a suspense and yeah,
it freaked me out!!!

scary...

& the ending turned out sad..
haizz..

nth much to say bout 2dae..
kays..
cheerios!!!

P.S. self entertain..

Beautiful by Akon.. :D

2009-04-07T23:37:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!

2dae was syf and it was damn scary!!
set out early in the morning at 5:ooam
to school...

dressed up in band uniform,went to band room
practice..

den off to singapore conference hall!!!

n before i went there,my palms are sweating already..
diaos...:D

arrived..
saw river valley ..

ahhhhhh!!!
screaming like mad..!!

went to tuning room,
den our turn...

"BAND NO.140,CHONG BOON SECONDARY SCHOOL,PLAYING OVERTURE 2 AND GODDESS OF VICTORY FROM KAZUYASU KAMINAGA"

freaking scary..

but i tink we did well..
nevertheless..
we got a silver...

which is good...

not bad...
i wanted a gold...

but,last 2 yrs got a bronze and we improved...
got a silver..
so was like"woots!!"

hahahs...

nvm...

next 2 yrs..
gonna prove tt our band is gonna achieve a gold.!!
asked stanley to promise us to give us a treat...
WAKAKAKAS!!!!!

kays...
cheerios!!!

P.S gone to rest..damn freaking tired..

2009-04-02T08:19:00.000-07:00

feelings of pain,yet no tears came out

hallos!!!!

long time nvr post liao!!

2dae was damn fun..
had band..
den had mac dinner..

and the best thing is...

i and reuben skipped our maths remedial!!!!

hahahahs!!!!!

VICTORY!!

den ms fayah got angry and asked us to go bakc to class for remedial frm band..
i was like"wth...freak lahh she.."

den,ms tan saved us!!!!

she helped us explain to ms fayah tt we have to stay put in band!!!

yahoo!!

muacks...!!

love u ms tan!!<3

ms tan rox to the core..!

ms fayah sux like hell!!!

den during dinner..
keng teng kept on laughing and
almost made me choke on my
mac french fries...

wth... :D

den in band kept on coughing..
wth..
feel like some sick person..
our band prac ended bout 9 plus..

mr lim is so damn cute cans??
he's so freaking cute..

oh yeah,at the same time i was playing in band,
felt like sleeping..

yawns..

haiz...

i cant bear to look at him..
it just breaks my heart more...
it feels so painful in the heart..
but yet,
no tears came out..

lol..
im toking crap..
don mind me...
this happens wen im tired..

just inspiration,
frm the pic up above..

NOTHING PERSONAL!!!

okays??

diaos..
so tired..
freaking tired..

guess wanna go now..

i'll dream of u ppl...
whoever u may be...

hehehs!!

cheerios!!!

2009-03-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

YO!!!!

2dae became siao agains uhs??..

noe why??

cuz miss fayah pissed me off agains..

she's such a bitch!!
hate her to da core!!!

ARGH!!

2dae had a stupid math test given by ms fayah "
the bitch"
was so PISSED OFF!!

cuz she kept on knocking on ashlina's table
n was like asking her
did she study or not
and i was like so damn...

"HOW CAN SHE BE SO RUDE TO MY FRIEND LIKE THAT????"

ash was like doing her test,
concentrating,
n there she goes nagging off at her????!!

wth...

HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!! HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!HATE MS FAYAH!!

ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chicken nenehs lahh...

wth..

anywae,after school,
had band,
got high agains...
dunno y..
for no reasons maybe..

and keng teng was like"SIAO!!"

hahahs!!

and sandy was like"faster faster roll on the floor!!"

and i was like......

LAUGHING LIKE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahs!!!

dont bother me...
i become mad liaos uhs...??

anywae,after tt..
waited for father...
n went back home...

thats all i guess...

cheerios!!

NOTE!!!!

IF U WANNA WATCH THE VIDEO IN HIGH QUALITY,PRESS THE HQ BUTTON
AND QUALITY WILL GET BETTER!!!!

2009-03-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

2dae, had performance at school as a band..
played not bad..
and was so
PISSED OFF
by somebody!!!

for criticizing our band..

wth..

she was like"its like you all play for the sake of playing...there's no feel..no passion.."
ohhh!!!!!
just go to hell cans???

damn..

we put our heart and soul in to the song okays??!!

did u noe that we stayed back till 9 in the night to prac yesterday!!!

argh!!

FURIOUS!!!

chicken nenehs lahh...
she think she soo big..
think councilor..
can criticize like tt..

haiz..
so pissed off 2dae..

im so disappointed..

haiz..

anywaes,went to band in the afternoon..
had sectionals wif zj..

fun!!

thnx to zj..
helped me wif my clarinet..
!!

haiyohs!

my darling clarinet spoiled..
so hav to send for repair for a while..

sobs..
T_T

hahahs!!

oh ya,
sumthing damn funny happened..

jus now wen hui conducted us!!!
bwahahahaha!!!

n i n mynn was like laughing like crazy!!!

den after tt,
walked to the bubble tea shop wif shermin...

bought OREO CRUSHED again!!!!

woots!!!

nice creamy flavour!!

den walked all the way to the bus stop..
rode the bus..
walked home...n all the while was drizzling..
but it felt hot!!

haiz..

global warming again uhs???

ok lahs...
gtg..
byes!!

:D

2009-03-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

HOHOHO!!!

2dae was the first dae of
school 4 da term...

we had P.E
and
Mr toh asked us to run 4 rounds!!!!

i was like"wth...does he want us to die of heat stroke??"

its like already so hot in the early morning...

oh goshh..

global warming..

n yeah i ran..
without stopping..
:D

and..
after tt..

i got a headache...

b'cuz of all the running..!!

n the hot sun..

BANG, MR TOH!!!BANG,BANG,BANG!!!

DIE,DIE,DIE!!!!!....

haizz..

den..
after school..

i got vry blurr..

like some ah ma!!

how can i 4get my clarinet..!!!!

im so careless..

ask my mum wash my brain in detergent uhs???

haizz...

den,after all the blurriness...

went to band..
self sectionals..
wif sandy..

walked wif her til the bus stop there..

den...took a vry hot,long journey back home..

there was tis crazy guy hu kept on
smiling at me while i was on the bus..

scary..

den..
walked all the way home...

n although it was hot..
i've always loved walking home..

cuz the pathways are always filled wif nature..
:D

reminds me of heaven...

hahahs..

its like in springtime..

blue sky,
yellow flowers filled trees..

beautiful forest-like trees...

i actually felt like sleeping beauty...
wen i was walking through all the nature...

felt like in the scene wen she walked in the woods...

hahahs!!!

holy mama,

wat am i crapping bout...??

im crapping bout...

CRAP!!!

lol...

ok ..

gtg...

cheerios!!!!

:DDD

P.S wow!! triple dees..hahahs!!

2009-03-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

HAIYOHS!!

holy mama,

holidays over..

school starts..

and...

books open!!!!!

hahahs!!

lol...

haiz..

dont feel like going to school..

suddenly feel so lazyyy.....

haiyosh!!

c'mon!!

wake up frm ur slumber land

cannot slack!!!!

oh goshhh...

gtg..

arikato gozaimaste!!!

P.S entertain..:DD

2009-03-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

YOYOYOYO!!!!!!

arikato gozaimaste!!!!!!
2dae had band
n
holy mama,Mr ~ came today!!
was so damn fun cans???

it wasn't so cold today...
thank goodness..

i dont wanna be a
block of ice...
while im still a living thing..

anywaes,2dae lena banana
checked our attire,hair blah blahs..

n the bad thing is...

I NEED TO PUT MY BEAUTIFUL BUN
INTO A STUPID, DISGUSTING,THICK,
MESSY, UGLY,REVOLTING,
DAMN DAMN, DISGUSTING AND
THICKLY STUPID PONYTAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!

DAMN FED UP WIF HER...

ask her go eat lots of bananas first uhs???!!!!

haiyohs...

idiotic...

on the time that
i let my hair down into the
most revolting ponytail
i've ever seen...
i felt like chopping my hair
with a chopping knife at the same time!!!!!!!
haixx....
damn idiotic lah cans??
anywae,despite the hair check and
blah blah...
it was fun...
hahahahs!!!

anywaes...
nth much already..
2mrw..
wont be in singapore cuz going overseas..
byes..
boo hoo..T_T
gonna miss ebibody here..

muacks...!!

love you all!!!

n...

tata~!!!!!

P.S self entertain pls... :D

xoxo!!

2009-03-16T05:22:00.000-07:00

HOHOHO'S!!

happy holidays ppl!!

urgh,well..

no holidays for me...

haiz...
damn tired 2dae..

Mon:Band(8am to 5pm)
Tue:Band(9am to5pm)
Wed:Band(9am to 5pm)
Thurs:Band(10am to 5pm)
Friday:Band(2pm to 6:30pm)

...

haiyahs..!

anywaes..

2dae had band..
was freezing damn damn
DAMN COLD
cans????

its like a freezer in there...!!

better wear blazer tomorrow...!

haiyahs!!

last saturday was late for band..
n wats worse..
i was late again 2dae!!
cuz i woke up late...
haiz...
total disgrace man..!!

My Promise:

to be very punctual for band!!

note this...

its not just a promise..!!
its an oath!!
i will swear mans!!

im totally sorry ppl... :(
very,very sorry..

swear wont do it again..

damn tired 2dae..

did i told you that i was tired??

oh yes...guess i did..
hehehs..

all this exhaustion is making me
going bonkers...!

OMGoshhh....
i think im gonna faint...

haixx.........

okay den...

i guess im off to fly away to my dreamland again..

yawns...

to...
catch up wif my sleep..

haiz...so tired...

I TOLD U THAT THRICE!!!!

OMG!!

wats happening to me!!!

yawns....

i have to hurry up go sleep
b4 i fall asleep on the table
i tell u...

ok den...

byes!!

2009-03-13T05:34:00.000-07:00

2dae was damn fun..
made banana smoothies
and chocolate chip
muffins during home
ec lessons 2dae!!!

hahahs!!

was so nice..
yum..yum..

love it!!

anywae,after tt had band..

had sectionals,n stanley didn't come..
sick..

aww..

so sad..too bad lena!!

haixx..

aiya...damn tired..

band is fun but tiring..

BUT I STILL LOVE IT OKAYS??!!!

its damn fun,cans??!!

anywae..the weather is a bit sod today...
actually..
not a bit..
A LOT!!

the sky is gray...
but it didn't rain...instead it felt so
humid!!!!!!!

i wanted to faint with all the heat stroke!!

wats happening to the earth??
wats happening?? wats happening????!!!!

haiz...i might faint with all tis global warming..

no..
its not faint...
i might die!!

no!!

correction!!
i will die...!

R.I.P Izzah..

May you rest in peace..

Cause of her Death: Global Warming

...

hahahs!!!

lame!!

im vry lame 2dae..

haiyas...damn tired...

nth more to post..

~tata!!

cheerios!!

2009-03-11T06:19:00.000-07:00

2dae went back home
by myself..
wif addison..
walk me to the bus stop there...

had band before that..
had sectionals plus hyper time!!

i vry hyper 2dae..

during sectionals,we
went to tis level 4 block in the school..
diyan said that the guys toilet is haunted!!

WOOOOO~

ghostie whostie..lols..

den,
kept disturbing sandy
till she got scared
n to tell u the truth..
i got scared too..
scaredy cat uhs??

hahahs!!

was damn hyper 2dae b4 band..
in school..
cuz..
there's a hot news that...

SHALINI LUVS CLARENCE!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHS!!!!!!!

its the truth..!!

she told me herself..

n i was like...
wth..
lame uhs??

told u i was hyper...

oh,ya den reuben began spreading evrything n...
guess wat??

the whole band knows!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHHS!!!!!!!!!!

ROTFL!!

hahahs!!

(i think the whole world shld noe by now!)

haha!!
seriously...
shalini n clarence

DONT SUIT...
!!

blueks..

haiyas..
anywae..
damn tired todae..
after all the killing laughter..

no wonder they say
"laugh too much...u will cry"

ouch...it hurts..

ok,ppl..

self-entertain urself again..kays??

cheerios!!

2009-03-09T05:18:00.000-07:00

2dae in band didnt had
such a fun time...
bored and angry
at the same time...
wif soemone...argh...!

he is so damn rude
to his senior
n i feel like throwing sth
at him rite now!!!
jus feel like
bashing him up!!!!

NOW!!!!!RITE NOW!!!!!

wth...

cant contain my anger...
have to learn how
to control
my emotions from now on uhs..

haiz...

damn bored cans??

yups...
anywae..
jus a vry short post..

cheerios..!

2009-03-07T21:28:00.000-08:00

hallos..

2dae went
out with
my mom..

went to kembangan,
around there...
had religious
classes there..
den
went to buy bubble tea
yumm...

OREO CRUSHED!!

love it..

oh ya...anywae..

wanted to share
tis song
halo by beyonce...
with lyrics on it..

love tis song...

ok den..

self-entertain urself okays??

enjoy!!:D

2009-03-04T04:16:00.000-08:00

laughter...

2dae went band..
had sectionals in
the dark room
wif the saxophones..
laughed till roll
on the floor..

hahahs..

cuz we were toking bout a
vry interesting
and funny topic
bout sumone....
im sure evryone in
band will laugh along..

ROTFL!!

reuben n i was like going mad..

laughed non-stop...

haiz..
damn busy now-a-days..
lucky theres reuben n shermin..
sandy n keng teng..
zhi xin n grace..
to brighten up the days a bit..

AHHH!!

without these ppl
i can die already!!

thnx guys!!:D

WOOTS!

2009-03-03T05:16:00.001-08:00

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves"

-William Shakespeare-

2dae had band
n had
full band straight away
n it was scary cuz
i became solo for

the first half an hour
of the session until..
my saviour came!!

SANDY!!

so didn't end up

solo after all..

YAY!!

the band room
became freaking cold..
til i was shivering
like mad cans??

anywae
had a fun time
in band...
n will always cherish it..

xoxo...

2009-03-02T02:04:00.000-08:00

2dae at sch
had free period..
mrs lee did'nt come
(YAY!!!)

aniwaes,mr siva,
tis crappy old teacher
took relieve on us
n he became crappy
(as usual)

I SAID TIS TWICE ALREADY!!

oh ya..
n i noticed his eyes are a grayish-light blue colour...
must be going blind already uhs??

we had to do a compo
mrs lee set for us
blah,blah,blah...

the question for the compo is...

2.Describe the favourite part of the year and why??

i crapped about christmas...
cant be bothered to
think out of the box..
lol

all the way thru those
boring two periods,
wx sat beside me...

had nth much to do so
just sat there n do nth..
lol

cheerios!!

xoxo..

2009-02-27T05:32:00.000-08:00

2dae had band...

n had gastric pain...
urgh..
pain like hell cans??

had tis stupid gastric pain
cuz didn't got to eat lunch
and
breakfast at sch..
u noe why??

u really wanna noe??

BCOZ OF THE STUPID MATHS
HMWRK TT MISS FAYAH GAVE!!!!

OMG!!
damn stupid cans???
giv so many hmwrk for wat???!!!!!

ARGH!

anywae,2dae had band...
n kt and S played like mad
wif each other...
wif S runnning away frm kt
and kt chasing S wif a broom!!!
a big one..
so funny cans??

wakakakkakakka!!!!
lol

oh,yea.. den st(clarinet tutor) came...
so funny lorhs..
all the crazy moments

haiyas!
so tired!!
nth much to say...

guess i hav to catch up
more wif my
beautiful dreamland!

xoxo...

2009-02-25T04:37:00.001-08:00

yay!!
2dae saw a beautiful rainbow while
going home from band!!

the rainbow was vry unique cuz its
surrounded by
gray skies instead of blue ones...
and no clouds cuz its
a cloudless day..

it rained heavily 2dae
n the sun shone later on...
(no wonder the rainbow came out)
lols..

the whole school was flooded
(practically partially)
n
we became like ponyo!!
hahahahs!!
swim,swim,swim!!!

evryone was like running around n screaming wif delight...
including me...
n we were like laughing like
WEIRD-CRAZY-PPL...
putting our shoes free
from the prison of rain
(so swakoo)
(dunno how the hell to spell tis swakoo word??)
hahahs!
lol

n
the band room became like a freezer...
so damn freaking cold cans??
like wanna freeze uhs..
hahahs!
kt ended up wearing her blazer

LOL

mr chiang said we played like zombies
(except for me of course!!)
and
carcasses
(oh gosh! S dont noe wats the meaning of tis word..)
hehehs..
c'mon!! more EXPRESSION ppl...!!
siao..
hahahs!

so FUNNY lorhs..

AIYA...!!
so many hwrk,
projects,
hwrk,projects

c'mon!!
i cannot slack!!
muz keep up
wif the rest!!

jiayous!!

xoxo..

P.S. tis is the longest post
i've ever made in history..!
noob..
lol!

BYE-BYE RAINBOW!!
SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!

2009-02-23T04:34:00.000-08:00

2dae was a freaking damn stressful and emo and depressing dae! a dae full of hatred and anger...a dae full of vengeance and tears....haiz...damn emo...damn sad...these few daes ppl are getting emo and depressed....damn it!! i freaking hate being sad....the other dae...fought wif parents...den 2dae,fought wif fren...haiz...

but....
im happy too!!

cuz i got to run two rounds round the school non-stop 2dae for the stupid and miserable p.e. lesson 2dae!! yipee!!hahahs...

2009-02-16T01:48:00.000-08:00

FART!!!

2dae history lesson vry sian!!!!so bored, didnt hav anything to do...so i drew on my history notes!!!muahahaha!!!!after sch.,went to bubble tea shop wif wx,shermin and clarence. clarence is a good boy(for once) todae cuz he helped out the auntie at the bubble tea shop..!hahahs!!den,in the bus met yu hui...sumthing vry funny happened in the bus todae!!was sitting wif yu hui...den...sumbody farted!!! i was like OMG!!!POLLUTION!!POLLUTION!!!SO FUNNY!!vry smelly lehs...like the drain outside..fart like nobody's business...hahahs.

xoxo...

2009-02-11T04:13:00.000-08:00

Rain!!
2dae we had this workshop at ang mo kio library bout narrative essays..after the workshop,i and athirah noticed tt it was raining heavily....n we were like so desperate to go home..so..u noe wat we did??we took our files,put it on our head...n we ran in the rain like some weird-crazy people hu jus escaped frm imh n evrybody in the whole amk district was looking at us!!hahahs.....! den we ran all the way to the bus stop n waited for the bus with our clothes drenched wet so i ended up calling my parents to fetch us...hahahs!!so funny....

yupyup...tts wat happened 2dae...

toodles!!!

xoxo...

2009-02-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

ooooh...so vintage uhs...hahahs.. :D pic of da dae...woots!!

yep yep yep!!todae is a glorious sunday...n i finally got my hands on Breaking Dawn,the fourth book of the Twilight Saga!!!MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!my fren borrowed it to me..finally...n VICTORY!!!!I GOT IT!!!!!!muahahaha!!!lol...=.=hahas..nth much to do 2dae...sian..schedule's been really tight these few days...there's band...there's tuition...there's piano classes...haiz....getting soo tired...yawn...yawwwnnnn..... hahahs!! ok peeps...gtg...

xoxo...

2009-02-04T05:22:00.000-08:00

harlows!!!2dae went to band...practiced clarinet...wOOts...hahahs..anywae,ever heard bout leap years???the movie???i badly wanna watch it!!!argh!!!the trailer looks AMAZING!!!!actually it is amazing!!!!hahahs...lol..argh!!!so frustrated!!!cannot find da dvd!!!!wanna watch it!!!!!ohh..dammit...anywae tis is the leap years trailer...wOOts!!

2009-01-30T21:34:00.000-08:00

Pic of da dae!!(my fav!!)

2009-01-30T19:47:00.000-08:00

bored...bOrEd...BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haiz...so bored.. got nth to write...anywae,nth much happened 2dae...since its an oh-so-boring kind of saturday....lol...im being lame...vry lame..hey,anywae,our Chong Boon Sec Badminton Team ROX ok!!!!!!They won!!!Congrats Faye,Ash,Eileen and Yvonne!!U guys rock to da core!!!! haha!!!

xoxo..